


Forgiefan

by sweetsnow73



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, F/M, The Final Cut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-09
Packaged: 2018-02-24 18:17:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2591441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetsnow73/pseuds/sweetsnow73
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grell works as a cutter, and she's good at what she does. A drop of drama makes the work go easy but at the center of her heart, she's a romantic. Sometimes a cutter has to go above and beyond to make sure peace is found.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgiefan

**Author's Note:**

> The elements from The Final Cut seemed to really work in my head with the shinigami from Kuro. The whole lot of them working in the rememory industry kind of matched the way that lives are represented with film reels when they reap someone. Sadly I don't imagine too many people have watched both of these things to understand the setting that I've placed these characters in. Oh well, I guess this is just a pet project for me and the few that have!
> 
> As for whether these characters are, well, in character is a bit hard to say. Since some of the characters have traits that depend a lot on their life events in canon, taking them out of that setting changes things. Regardless I hope some fans of Kuro like this, I had a hoot of a time doing this and shaking things up a little.
> 
> The pairings talked about in this are Ciel X Lizzy and Finny X Lizzy. (With Grell flirting with Sebastian, of course.) Also I suppose I should mention I use she/her pronouns with Grell. Finny and Lizzy are a pet pairing of a few people I know and it fit with what this story is about and so I just went for it! I love both pairings, I just love my Lizzy pairings in general, so I hope there won't be too much grumbling about it, please be gentle. 
> 
> I've tried to keep the explanations about the elements from the movie The Final Cut as simple as I can so people who haven't watched it but want to read this can catch on to what it's all about. But really it's a great movie 10/10, go watch.

 

"Forgiveness is the final form of love." - Reinhold Niebuhr

 

* * *

 

Grell could have chosen many jobs in life. On some level she still planned on running off and being a model but her current line of work was simply…fascinating. It paid run well, hard hours but the fringe benefits were worth it.

Full of drama. Being a cutter was fun. Perhaps it fed into the need for water cooler gossip and trashy celebrity magazines but the filth and dirt people had in their memories was to die for. She was hardly the newest cutter out there, that would be the dapper Ronald, but she was known for her discretion. People have gotten in trouble for selling secrets, but not her, oh no!

She simply loved them. Practically ate them up in glee, rather liking the idea that only her and the person they came from got to see them.

Grell simply loved a shared dirty secret. Between you, me and wall as the saying goes.

And the people you met in this job, well that was an added bonus. Some of them were so….attractive. Not that she could date anyone that came through the door, part of the business ethic laid down by the certification board, the boring sods. Still she could look. Nothing bad ever happened from looking, after all, that's her job.

Her current assignment was given by the butler of the deceased. Initially she had to hold back a laugh the butlers and maids always brought on. Usually oozing an air of misery for various reasons, some exposed in the footage, they followed around the surviving family. Also the ludicrous of a butler in this day and age was amusing. What first got her attention however was how the butler was alone and devilishly attractive.

A tall dark and handsome type looking oh so heartbroken over the death of his former employer. It took her a half breath of a moment to know something else was going on here, something deeper. The deceased had a fiance that had disappeared before his untimely death but no other family to speak of. He did however have a huge company, full of business associates waiting for a proper send off for him which included a rememory. Little scamp had anticipated demand for it and written it into his will. Grell couldn't wait to find out the late tycoons little secrets and dirty laundry.

"I assume you will use the utmost discretion, it is, after all your specialty."

"Of course!" Grell would have almost been insulted if the man hadn't been so pretty. A strange smile of sorts crossed his face, the paper work was filled out and he was gone. Grell had decided to keep the contact number on hand, something was sure to come up, hopefully.

**…**

The first step is to always separate the boring and useless from important and devastating. The bland from delicious. Vaguely she recognized the name 'Phantomhive' some company that was in the background of society but never made anything she needed, she loaded the mechanism into her cutting machine, an Anderson model a few years old now, and shook up her nail polish bottle. The loading of the memories could take hours so she usually did her nails waiting.

Ciel was the name of the man, if you can call someone so thin and frail looking a grown man. Twenty four years laid themselves out before her on the screens of her machine, shorter than her normal projects but no less thick and full of moments. Most of them useless.

She typed in the specification for finding footage of business meetings, the insides of offices with large tables or large groups of people to be filtered through later for gems.

It was an interesting challenge to think of the important moments of this mans life, in that normally she had to find gushy sentimental things for the family but it was mostly going to be shareholders and the media. They would want to paint him the merciful capitalist with a heart of gold.

She decided to take the approach of 'the values from youth turned him into a caring man which of course carried over into his work'. It was a bit cliched but would give the media the blurbs and quotes they needed and the big wigs the right to pat themselves on the back for placing themselves on the mercy of this man.

There was a large amount of empty room in the house Ciel grew up in, people coming in and out but not a lot of people to actually spend time with him as a child. He had tutors, she found some good footage of quotable lessons from some of them, and maids and butlers around. There was a blonde girl, she visited a lot, must be someone important, she was face recognized into his adulthood. Some gorgeous red haired woman, turning out to be his Aunt, showed up for a while but then disappeared, died in an accident. Ah, such tragedy!

Ciel seemed to take after his mother in personality for a while, hanging on her legs but looked up to his father. After a bit, with the magic of fast forward, he became a little mini-dad.

Grell sighed, so much of this was boring, inter family politics, business politics, friend problems. Admittedly this family was substantially less messed up then a lot of families she'd have the pleasure to witness but it was DULL.

Flipping back and forth through the years Grell watched as Ciel grew up, aging ever so from moment to moment. Graduating from some school she'd never heard of but she was sure produced 'the next great thinkers', when he was nearing the end of his life he had to replace the staff that his parents had hired. At this point his parents had been dead for some years the staff they had hired stayed around for a while before retiring and new faces showed up. The chef was handsome in a rugged way, the maid plain and the gardener boyishly handsome. Then of course, there was the butler, she cooed and paused and replayed the footage with the butler. Indulgent of course, the first real gem in this assignment so far.

She made a note of the older retired butler that visited still,he might be worth tracing back and finding something good to add to the montage. He seemed to have been in the house with the family for all of Ciel's life, sure to have some wisdom to share.

To her surprise the blonde girl ended up being his fiancé. She had passed over her for the moment, waiting to look into the familiar face another time but now she wanted to look closer.

Romances always made her heart flutter! They made the best drama.

Her name was Elizabeth, an old fashioned name for a girl who enjoyed her pink and lace. As children then spent a lot of time together, the daughter of a business partner she was dragged around with her parents and the two we forced to socialize. How quaint, rich parents have no idea what children want, a hundred rememories and this is always true. At least they got along. Their relationship flourished into a friendship up until their teens were in the awkward dating started. She was loyal to him through many of his trials and when his parents died, she was the first at his door.

At this point Grell was eating popcorn and watching the screen, not a bad romance story but not the best ever. Unfortunately she saw the seeds near the end that would grow into misfortune. The seeds being in the heart of Ciel's lady-love. Given that she can only see through Ciel's eyes she had to wonder what they were doing away from his view. More than once did Elizabeth get caught with the gardener, talking of course but still. Whenever they were together the eyes sold them out, shy love, new love.

Ridiculously obvious. How unfortunate for Ciel! Adding to the drama of the whole thing Ciel was dying, not that he would tell anyone. Doctors diagnosed lung cancer, something he wouldn't reveal to anyone, other than his hunky butler anyway. Ciel had decided to go with a path of denial about the whole thing, focusing more on his work and avoiding Elizabeth. In the last few months of Ciel's life he spent a large amount of time writing, mostly boring business stuff but so many drafts. Confrontations and accusation to her and the gardener. Each one ended up being burnt in some way, into ashes so no one could find them. Ciel valued his privacy, a great irony then, that he had the implant.

As his tests continued to prove his life was on a time limit his letters became more merciful. His anger boiled away as the days passed, never did one day pass without some length of a draft being written out. His loyal butler never read them, at least to his knowledge, and he kept destroying them.

The night before what turned out to be his death he woke up alone, which was notable because he had been sharing a bed with Elizabeth for a while now. He apparently needed air as he walked over to the window and opened it. Perfectly, dramatically timed, to see his love leave with the gardener in a taxi. The handsome butler loading luggage for them.

At this point she stood up from her seat, empty popcorn bowel in hand and walked away. She needed air.

This was the drama she needed! The fiancé didn't disappear unwilling it seemed!

Returning back to the work station and back to the story as it unfolded, Ciel found the engagement ring and letter on the side table. Inside the letter were words of apology and explanation.

The resulting fury that followed was historical. One of the best she'd seen in her work in a long time. Of course the butler got the most of it, caught helping them and all.

He spent some time sleeping after that, waking sometime at sunset and wrote. A lot. She wouldn't let her mind wander far from the screen, the dramas end closing in, time running out. She had to witness how it inevitably would end.

After writing the long letter, he burnt it, sighing and went back to sleep. There he died alone.

**…**

The rememory service was everything Grell pictured. It was in the nice side of town, everything looked clean, white and pristine. Outside the usual protesters mulled about, in the distance because there was special hired help to keep them away. Money can buy you a lot in life and death.

She stood outside for a bit, enjoying the nice weather and watched as the business lot walked in. Easily recognizable by the expensive suites they wore. Their wives and husbands accompanying them looked an equal mixture of bored and nervous. She could pick out a few familiar faces from the footage, the loyal old butler, the staff-including the hunky butler but minus the gardener, various high up people who Ciel had to deal with regularly.

It's absolutely wondrous to know so much more about them then they knew about her. She was a shadow behind them, a red shadow but a shadow just the same. She disappeared down a side hallway from where the main flow of foot traffic was going. Up to the projector room to make final checks before the show began.

From above them she spotted some last-minute guests. The now ex fiance and her lover. No longer 'disappeared' it seemed. How brave to show up. She left the room and quickly made her way back down to the ground floor. As the audience had all the appropriate reactions at all the right spots, she shuffled as nonchalantly as possible over to the butler that started this whole thing.

When it ended, some applause occurred and the lights went up. The group of people began talking to each other, a type of fond memory sharing that always seemed to happen at these things.

"Excellent work, worth every penny Ms. Sutcliff."

She tried to be calm as she looked away briefly trying to hide her blush. In doing so she spotted Elizabeth in the crowd. Looked like the servants all came back together. The maid was crying behind her big glasses and the chef nodding, everyone was appropriately sad and she couldn't tell from this distance if anyone was sore about the whole affair.

"Discretion is a good trait to have." her attention returns to him and his lovely eyes and she remembers something she had to do.

"Of course, but if you should happen to feel that there are certain things left...unsettled," she reached into her purse and pulled out a disk, not playable on a cutting machine but a typical computer, "perhaps this will put things to rest." She handed it to him, in hopes that he would pass it along to the right people, glancing as subtly as possible over to the servants.

"If not, burn it, it's out of my hands."

Not normal procedure at all, contrary to her character and reputation. But she was...perhaps at her core, her very tiny core, a romantic. They both looked at the love birds that had caused such drama in Ciel's final months and she knew he understood. He was a smart, handsome cookie like that.

"Pleasure doing business with you, I'm off, bigger and better things and all that, ta-ta!"

With that she made an exit that was sure to leave an impression and get him to come back to her door. If not she would move on, life was too short after all to be spent moping after a hunk.

**…** **   
**

_ The disk went into the computer with a click and Elizabeth clicked the file to run. The video player activated and the footage loaded. It was clearly the bedroom she had shared with Ciel for months before she left. She instantly recognized the wallpaper, she picked it out herself. _

_ She watched as Ciel opened the door to the office that was attached to the bedroom and sat down, the chair, old and creaky making her heart ache because she would never hear it again. She slowly read what he wrote down on the stationary, his penmanship had always been excellent. _

_ " My dearest Elizabeth. Tonight I watched you leave me. _

_ My first reaction had been to yell at Sebastian, for his hand in this whole thing. I think at one point I have yelled at MeyRin as well. I am sorry, you know how I get when I get angry, sometimes acting before thinking. I will probably never tell them as such but I am sorry. _

_ The reason I did act that way was because I love you so. I have written you before, and this letter shall take the path those letters did. In a fiery blaze. For the best I think, none the less, I need to say these things. I have known for a long time that you and Finnian have loved each other. I could not for a long time figure out in what way, you have always been friendly more so than I, so I pushed it aside. Before too long however I realized it was more than friendship. _

_ I have also been hiding something, I have been dying. In this letter and to the spirit of you I can confide that I am scared. I have much to do, I had wanted to make many of your dreams come true but I cannot. I realize now that you knew, maybe not how or the why but I had been pulling away from you. So you pulled away as well. I knew this was coming on the horizon but I refused to let you help me through it, to push you away before I died seemed more fair. I don't know if it is or not. Maybe, if there is something on the other side, you know my feelings on that, someone can tell me if I have done right. If  ** we  ** have done right. _

_ I'll find out first. This is the way it should be, I don't think I could find a life much without you. My earliest memories include you, stomping your feet at having to play with me. _

_ In death I can say what I can't in life, in reflection I realize my life was meant to intertwine with you, like a star or some such poetic thing, drawn to you I looked to you for companionship, company and most of all, forgiveness. _

_ You knew my moods better than me, that when I spoke out in anger that I was speaking from another place. Your patient heart loved me. Kept me above the waters of life when my beloved aunt and parents passed. We have shared many words in dark hours. Secrets and shames. _

_ But you forgave them all. _

_ I don't know if I have gained some wisdom from my ticking clock, but I want you to love. You deserve to be loved, to be cherished and to have someone beside you. _

_ This time I forgive you. _

_ Go on, be with him, live a life and love someone with everything you have. I loved you the same." _

_ He stopped writing and sighs, dragging out a lighter and burns the pages of the letter that he had taken such time to write, ashes fall, he had watched to make sure it was all gone and brushed it into a bin. He stands up, pushes his chair in and walks back into the bedroom going back to their bed and looks at her side of the bed until the footage ended. _

_ She is left staring at the screen, silent tears running down her face. She should feel angry that he never told her about his illness, and maybe that would come later, after she mourns him, them and what they could have had. She hurts too much to fully appreciate what a gift this was. Someday she might watch it again, for now she pops the disk out and sits it on the table. She's confused inside and she'll take as much time as she can to understand how she feels about it all. Ciel always thought poorly of himself, critical where others would overlook but he knew what to say to people to make them happy. He was always able to smooth things over and even now, he knew just what to say. She'd always be thankful for that skill of his and his final gift of forgiveness. _

 

**Author's Note:**

> Anderson brand cutting machines is a reference to Lawrence Anderson, a shinigami from the 6th OVA and unlike Eric and Alan, hasn't been in any other media so not many know about him. Since he works in the glasses department which is a critical element in the shinigami world, I thought it would be appropriate for him and his family to make these machines that process the footage.
> 
> I'm sure some of you might have noticed I changed that Lizzy isn't Ciel's cousin in this but the daughter of a business partner, no reason other than cousin to cousin marriages aren't terribly common anymore.


End file.
